We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
