Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize