I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
