My hand turned me down
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
