you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Still dying that you shit outside
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
