this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
