That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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