You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
