Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
