Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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