Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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