I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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