Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize