We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
