This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
