he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
