Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BRING THE BAGELS
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
