Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
