I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize