She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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