guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
