When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
