There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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