just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
