Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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