I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
