birth control should be required to get into college
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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