So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
