I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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