Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
