I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
