You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
