Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
