if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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