my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
