why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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