so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
