tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
