is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
