So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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