If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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