It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
