i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
