dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
