i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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