Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
