My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
