Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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