Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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