its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
