The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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