my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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