I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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