were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Alive.
So much puke
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
