She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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