That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
