OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
These tits shall not be calmed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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