We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
