Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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