and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
