u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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