What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
